This book comes highly recommended for anyone that has ever considered adoption or has been involved in the adoption process. But the book goes beyond promoting adoption. In the author's words:
“In this book I want to call us all to consider how encouraging adoption—whether we adopt or whether we help others adopt—can help us peer into the ancient mystery of our faith in Christ and can help us restore the fracturing unity and the atrophied mission of our congregation.” As Moore explains, “The gospel of Jesus Christ means our families and churches ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans close to home and around the world.” It is the gospel that calls us to adopt but it is also the gospel that teaches us how to understand adoption. In fact, “as we become more adoption-friendly, we’ll be better able to understand the gospel... I want to ask what it would mean if our churches and families were known as the people who adopt babies—and toddlers, and children, and teenagers. What if we as Christians were known, once again, as the people who take in orphans and make of them beloved sons and daughters?”
I see the adoption of a child into a loving family as a beautiful reflection of the gospel. Like the orphan, we were once outcasts and strangers to God, but because of the sacrifice of Christ, we are welcomed with open arms into God's family and provided an eternal home. I hope to read this book soon and report back with more thoughts at a later time.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world," - James (1:27).
Recently I've been thinking about the issue of "finding God's will", and came across this book. It offers a refreshing perspective that counters the paralyzing notion of waiting for God to directly guide us in all of our major life decisions that aren't clearly addressed in the bible. Here's a quote:
"...when it comes to most of our daily decision, and even a lot of life's "big" decisions, God expects and encourages us to make choices, confident that He's already determined how to fit our choices into His sovereign will. Passivity is a plague among Christians. It's not just that we don't do anything; it's that we feel spiritual for not doing anything. We imagine that our inactivity is patience and sensitivity to God's leading. At times it may be; but it's also quite possible we are just lazy. When we hyper-spiritualize our decisions, we can veer of into implusive and foolish decisions. But more likely as Christians we fall into endless patterns of vacillation, indecision, and regret. No doubt, selfish ambition is a danger for Christian, but so is complacency, listeless wandering and passivity that pawns itself off as spirituality. Perhaps our inactivity is not so much on God as it is an expression of the fear of man, the love of the praise of man, and disbelief in God's providence."
- Kevin DeYoung, Just Do Something, p. 51, 52
In response, someone might push back and say that it sounds like he is advocating for a cavalier approach to decision making. I'm sure he has heard that objection before and I think he addresses it in his book. Nevertheless, I tend to agree with him that for every 10 Christians that are too reckless in how they make decisions, there are 100 who over-spiritualize their passivity and fail to do anything.
(2nd post - taken from my notes from a parenting course we took in 2007 called "Growing Kids God's Way")
The Parent Factor
Unfortunately, many adults parent in response to their own unresolved childhood fears, conflicts and disappointments. As a result, they sometimes parent their own past more than their children. For example, if the growing-up years were pleasant, there is a strong tendency to employ training techniques similar to those by which you were raised. If your childhood years were stressful, the tendency is to swing to the opposite extreme of your parents' methods when rearing your own children. For example, parents brought up under unfair, restrictive or even abusive methods often unknowingly move toward permissive parenting, allowing their children to become self-centered. These parents in many ways become more concerned about their children's feelings than about their actions. They elevate psychological health above moral health, and any standard of right and wrong is subject to how their children feel, not what they do. Parenting Extremes Permissive/child-centered parents fear inhibiting the child, so they go to the extreme of creating an environment of unrestrained freedom, resulting in an under-controlled child. On the other hand, authoritarian parents fear spoiling their child, so they see their salvation in the power of rules and limitations; resulting in an over-controlled child. Both extremes deprive the child of basic skills necessary for healthy adolescence. Authoritarian Parenting Permissive Parenting
My son Benjamin recently turned 2yrs (Feb.23) and has since made it clear to us that he is now in a new stage of life - the "terrible twos". His will of defiance is constantly testing the patience of his parents. Although his vocabulary has increased exponentially over the past year, the one word we still constantly hear from him is ... "NO!" (in a loud disobedient tone accompanied by hand flailing). As such, I will soon be investing more time in learning about parenting/discipline.
Jeanie and I took a parenting course a few years ago called "Growing Kids God's Way" and found it to be very helpful. It was a big investment in time and energy (we travelled to Aurora, which is about 1&1/2hrs from Toronto, every Fri night for about 5months in the middle of winter), but we both received valuable paradigm-shifting life-lessons - both from the perspective as parents and as children. I'll try to share some of what we learned in the next few posts. Here are a few points from the introductory session:
Here's a helpful nugget for parents taken from a recent Tim Keller sermon:
- When we are raising children, if we push them away and keep them at arm’s length in order to preserve our freedom and independence, they will grow up emotionally dependent and damaged. The only way our children can grow up with freedom and independence is if we sacrifice our freedom and independence, for years on end. Once again, it’s them or you.
